It is the daughter again. In light of my mother's absence, I thought I would share an experience I had today during my Yoga teacher training... briefly since there is, of course a confidentiality agreement I am on the verge of breaking.
As I sat in the Yoga room, rattled by all the drudging we've been doing about our pasts and our ways of living, I couldn't bare to think of what my "teachers" were going to ask me to do next. I've put my foot behind my head, danced like a maniac in front of 18 other people, and cried for fifteen continuous minutes all while sweaty and exhausted from three hour practices. But today the teachers asked us all to sit on the floor. Six of us were instructed to stand in front of the room. For ten minutes. Without doing anything.
The objective was to let yourself be seen.
If you laughed or smiled, you were to notice that defense mechanisms are where we turn when we're exposed, or that people pleasing needs ("like me, like me, I'm NICE!") come up with others. Instead we were just standing there, allowing ourselves to have a human connection with other human beings and letting people see us, in a raw way. After ten minutes, six more people got up and stood in front of us and we had a one on one connection with someone else...for ANOTHER ten minutes.
Doing this exercise made me realize how hard it is for us to share with each other in an honest way. I could tell stories until the cows came home and often times I'm not letting anyone really KNOW me. It takes dropping everything...your expectations and your worries and your judgments, and just BEING with someone else.
I came out feeling like I'd really been moved and like people saw a deep side of me I never show anyone, the honest side.
I encourage everyone to notice all of the hiding we do in our lives, and open to some honest connection. It was more beneficial than I can express.