Monday, November 15, 2010
Mountains of stuff.
Writing is slow. I love the story but don't know how to tell it. I keep getting off into tangential story lines - that I love too - but they aren't the point. I get frustrated, I get stuck, I stop writing. Conventional wisdom would have me cause the house to burn down now or some disaster strike. But guess what that would do? Give me lots of things to write about, but still not focus on the Danged Main Story. Good Grief.
People are sad around here and I don't know how to help them. Feelings are raw. Everyone is angry, grumpy, hurt, hypersensitive. We have had arguments where we had none before. I think I will sleep with Grumpy Bear myself tonight. Maybe he will take the grumpys from me, and then I can share him out.
Work is complicated and requires focus. Things are changing there and I need to focus on right positioning. But I don't have a moment to consider because I am busy and distracted. Dang it.
All this overshadows so many wonderful things, so much to be thankful for. I will meditate on these things. Like, for example, the incredible and colorful maple trees in the yard. They are beautiful and growing well. We did well when we added them to the landscape. Or better than that, my grandchildren. These two amazing little people are simply a blast. They make me laugh a million times over. They are a gift, such a gift. I hope they know how much I adore them. They light my life.
I am gifted with these incredible Maine Coon cats. They are a blessing, making me laugh every day. And have the opportunity to "puppy sit" Ama's little puppy Zuko. He came to visit and just was the happiest creature on the planet, making me smile again with every fiber in my being. ADR and Mr. Bryant spent some time working this weekend on this amazing fence. Soon it will fill our view and I am conflicted about that; however, it will also protect our loved ones, all of them. It is an incredible piece of work and will have artistic elements added before it is all over.
I am thankful that Redwood Trail Leonbergers' Clementine Girl had 9 healthy puppies and that the labor and delivery are over and everyone is fine. And tonight, I am thankful that I could figure out how to access the PC's files from the Macintosh, and for the handy help of the internet. And also that my husband loves me so very well that he knows when to tease me - and when to stop teasing me.
My family is a blessing too, even if I don't understand them all so much. I think I need to go call my mother.
I hate to wish away a single moment of time, and so I won't. Although I think about it, I will not give in. I will dig in, I will find a way through, I will stay the course. I will keep calm, I will carry on, and I will find a way to happiness in the now.