Finding my Personal New Year

Here I am again, like I've been so many days before. January. Filled with lots of positive determination to make the New Year everything that it can be. Ready to make lists and check things off. Ready to balance the budget, lose weight, get fit, tackle clutter, be effective and efficient, be balanced at home and work, create, write, publish, and give thanks. Ready to GO!

Reading that paragraph again, I am exhausted. My own enthusiasm tires me out. I know I need to be careful, reflective. I think about how hard it is to kill old unhealthy habits, and how easy it is to make goals blithely that I don't have any REAL intention of meeting.

In the immortal words of Mr. Bryant, "People Do What They Really Want To Do," and that includes me.

So what do I Really Want To Do in 2012?

Well, I know I Don't Want To Be Exhausted all year. And I also know that I DO like to have a solid framework along with goals to stretch towards.

Over the last three years I identified a single word to frame my focus for the year. In 2011 it was Creativity. That lasted about 6 months, as we know. In 2010 it was Clarity. In 2009 it was Serenity. I am filled with words as I try to sort through What I Really Want To Do in 2012.

I thought I had my resolutions all figured out, that I was in good shape because there were "only five." Looking at them though, I wonder if I am being honest with myself. There is no doubt that this is a good list and that doing all these things would enhance my life. The real question is - do I have the energy and commitment, really?

1. Budget
2. Health
3. Publish
4. Learn a Second Language
5. Create

Or should my list look like this:

1. Family
2. Sufficient Rest
3. Diet
4. Positive Attitude

Again, a good list, yes?  More realistic?  Probably.  But it also sounds basic, too "everyday."  I want to push myself.  I want to have a personally inspired reason to REACH.  I want to strive to be better, to make more of a contribution, to be inspiring.

So there it is.  All that thinking, and here is My New Year.

In 2012, I will Be Inspiring.

This is a pretty challenging reach, but I am up for it.

Sketching and Puppies

No, I have no time. No time to do anything but work, clean the kitchen floor again, take puppies in and out, and work some more. But I refuse to fall into the winter blues. The pups make that hard anyway, as they always make me chuckle for some reason (can you imagine)?

I want to be Just Like You!

I just really want Out Of Here.
I PROMISE I won't go to the bathroom on the floor!
I PROMISE!

Just to be sure I keep a broader focus, I am reading some classics - and they really make me smile. I am also participating in the Sketchbook Challenge. I decided to do this when I can for as long as makes sense, with no pressure. A nice, easy, New Years Resolution that gives me an excuse to do something creative for a few minutes a day - or a week.


So in January, I made four pages. January's theme for the Challenge was "Highly Valued." I don't know how to draw, so I had no idea how to capture what I highly value in a sketchbook. So here is what I came up with.

First, I started with a list. I learned quite a bit on this page - not the least of it was that watercolor will STILL warp a page and also that I needed something to paint in matte vs. gloss for a finish.


Next, I did this page - actually page three in the book - to try to demonstrate the value of logic, thinking, words, reading, writing, thought.

Some of my most favorite words are on this page.

Along with this great stamp - the ability to write - the cornerstone of democracy!

Third, this second page of the book started on the back of the warped first page with a startling red acrylic, that then I needed to find some way to make sense of. At the fire-y heart of it, is love, you see.

You can see the warping in the page - but I muddled through anyway.

And found two little works of tiny art would make the center - well - more centered.

But life is less full without inspiration...

And Family is the root of it all, for me.

Finally, I finished this page today, just in time. I had a time getting this one done, as I had to make a decision. What do I value more? Honesty, or Kindness? How about you?

Page 4 in progress.

Page 4 finished.

Wordless Wednesday - January 13, 2010

Wordless Wednesday - January 6, 2010

One more thing

My 6th day of Christmas Present, a little singing Santa.
Thanks mom and dad, I adore Ho Ho Ho!

Work is working again, and so am I.

We haven't even celebrated the Epiphany yet.

It is only the first Monday.

And I find that I already miss my own time, my home time.

I will be online less, you see. And have to work harder to make more time for me.


So it goes.


I am committed to organizing and moving my life forward.

I am committed to documenting my future as I see it.

I am committed to being a better me.


With that determination, I also leave you this. Another poem by the inimitable Wesley McNair -

What Became

What became of the dear
strands of hair pressed
against the perspiration
of your lover's brow
after lovemaking as you gazed
into the world of those eyes,
now only yours?

What became of any afternoon
that was so vivid you forgot
the present was up to its old
trick of pretending
it would be there
always?

What became of the one
who believed so deeply
in this moment he memorized
everything in it and left
it for you?

birthday time....

So, I get whine-y every year in January. Christmas is over just when I am starting to enjoy it. Everyone including me has to go back to work. It gets colder day by day. There are new years resolutions to develop. There is reflecting on the past 365 days that must be completed. And then there are the birthdays. We have several family birthday's in January, and one of them is mine. Grump grump!

To be honest, I am delighted to be another year older. Delighted to have time and opportunity and another year of life under my belt and in front of me at the same time. I am proud that I am mostly healthy, and that I don't have to take a ton of pills, and that I am eating reasonably - and so I have made it another 365 days.

And to be TOTALLY honest, I am just not happy to be another year older. I look in the mirror and am not delighted - though my body has been very accomodating. I have so much work to do to make myself healthier, younger. Ah geez.

But of course, THIS YEAR, I had fallen and broken my elbow - and consequently, was particularly grumpy and fussy and just not happy at all. My birthday came around and all I wanted to do was stay in the house and never leave. My dearest romantic Mr. Bryant came home from work and brought me roses and wine. He poured me a glass of the wine and put the roses into water.

He brought me ice cream.




He hugged me and told me we didn't have to go out, but that he really wanted to get me some books for my birthday, and would I go to the book store with him? He was so very sweet that I said yes, and he helped me get presentable to the world and into a coat (sort of) and off we went. It was great to be at Barnes and Noble and we both went off to various stacks to browse. Mr. Bryant called me periodically to see if he could come and carry my books. :)



He bought me books, and then dinner, and made me laugh, and held me close when we walked (so I couldn't fall and break my other elbow).

When we got home he gave me wonderful cards - and then he said he had a surprise for me above the garage. We went up together and he gave me the best birthday gift ever - a new rocking chair.



We had looked at these chairs at the Stickley store last year, and I had mentioned that I wanted to start purchasing heirloom furniture for our children and grandchildren to cherish. So now I have begun, thanks to Mr. Bryant. He has started us out, collecting the wonderful furniture that we can love and cherish in our family for a long long time.

Thank you for the wonderful happy birthday, baby.